Another day… another NFL baller arrested.

This time it’s ex-Atlanta Falcon, John Abraham. *sigh*

[Sidebar: The last time I saw the 36 year old NFL star was Easter Sunday, and we were all rather tipsy and having a great time celebrating the holiday with friends and food…]

But I digress… 😯This time John was allegedly caught intoxicated (and asleep) behind the wheel of his car after he’d had a few afternoon cocktails at a local strip club.

Details below…

According to the police report, Abraham was spotted leaving the Pink Pony strip club around 4pm on June 29, 2014.

[Sidebar: I give John mad props for keeping this out of the news for almost a month… but again… I digress.]

John, who now plays for the Arizona Cardinals, was ALLEGEDLY found asleep at the wheel of his vehicle, which was stopped in the middle of the street in an Atlanta suburb.

According to authorities, they banged on doors and windows of the vehicle to awaken Abraham and it took several minutes for him to wake up.

When he finally opened the door, police say they smelled liquor and report that, “He appeared confused and rambled while speaking.”

Abraham stated he was coming from the Pink Pony strip club and he told the cops that he only had two drinks while inside.

John apparently talked a lot during the stop and authorities say that he admitted he didn’t feel safe on the road.? Since it was 4:00 in the afternoon, authorities inquired if was sick or on any time of medication and Abraham confirmed he wasn’t.

He also managed to fail several field sobriety tests administered at the scene and he also failed in reciting the alphabet.? Coincidentally, John declined to take a breathalyzer test.

The 36 year-old linebacker was then arrested and according to the police report, he was too big to seatbelt in the squad car.

[Sidebar: John Abraham is listed in the police report as 6’4″, 225 pounds…. sounds about right. But I digress.]

The NFL star was taken to Dekalb County jail where he was charged with DUI and improper stopping in the roadway. He was released on a $1500 cash bond around 8pm the same day.

What do you think of this bizarre DUI story?