The premiere episode of the 5th season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta aired last night and the initial segment was full of lies, fairytale and fallacies cause we all know dayum well that Nene and Gregg NEVER broke up!

[FLASHBACK: Is Nene Lying About Divorce From Greg?]

That whole “we’re reconciling” act makes me wanna gag, but I digress!

Singer/Songwriter/Entrepreneur Kandi Burruss & her boo Todd finally revealed their relationship to the RHOA world. Too soon? Probably not….

[FLASHBACK: Kandi & Her “Blue Collar” Blue (PHOTOS)]

The world got to meet at least ONE of the new “housewives” without a husband…

[FLASHBACK: EXCLUSIVE: Former Miss USA Kenya Moore Joins RHOA…]

[Sidebar: What I found odd during Kenya Moore‘s introduction is that there was ummm… no dayum introduction! Moore simply appeared on the scene lunching with “Miss” Lawrence (who has conveniently forgotten his booted bff Sheree Whitfield).

There is no Moore connection to any of the other “housewives”… at least not one that was revealed during this first episode.

Details, recap + full video of RHOA season 5, episode 1 below…

Kenya seems planted merely for the drama and she does NOT disappoint. She promptly shows her “A”zz during a model call at Cynthia Bailey‘s The Bailey Agency.

Coining a new catchphrase “Coochie-Crack!”

[FLASHBACK: Drama At The Bailey Agency! + New “Housewife” Kenya Moore’s Atlanta Connection]

Newbie number 2, Porsha Williams-Stewart, wasn’t a part of the cast when filming first started this past Summer. In fact, there was another “housewife” recruited who didn’t make the cut.

Before Bravo decided to ditch that stupid “Smalls vs. Talls” storyline, they had recruited a new shortie by the name of Nicole Porche (click HERE if you missed that).

My sources confirmed that Porche was part of the cast for months, taping with several of the current members, but once Nene got her role on “The New Normal,” it seems that Porche (an established actress) was one actress too many on the cast of characters and she was promptly dismissed.

[FLASHBACK: RHOA Season 5 Cast Update: The Search Continues… ]

You read it hear first when the RHOA search finally ended with Atlanta civil right’s leader Hosea William‘s granddaughter, Porsha Williams-Stewart, wife of former NFL player Cordell Stewart.

[READ: EXCLUSIVE! Meet Porsha Williams-Stewart – Atlanta’s Newest Housewife]

And if you’ve never heard of Hosea Williams… click HERE to learn more about him and his historic ties to Atlanta.

Everyone has a new tag line this season and they all are pretty fitting:

Nene Leakes – I have arrived and the spotlight is on me honey!
Kandi Burruss – I may be small but my empire keeps on growing?
Cynthia Bailey – Beauty fades… class is forever?
Kim Zolciak – I ask, believe and I receive?
Phaedra Parks – I?m a southern belle. Brains, booty and all business.
Kenya Moore – I won Miss USA NOT Miss Congeniality?

WATCH FULL RHOA S5 EPISODE #1:

VIDEO: RHOA Season 5 Episode 1

Again… Porsha Stewart is definitely a cast member but she hasn’t been introduced yet, so her tag line/intro isn’t in the opening yet.

It seems as though they’ll replace Kim Zolciak’s intro once she’s gone since most of us have asked, believed… and will hopefully receive ?our wishes.

I told y’all a while back that the ladies all refused to tape over the Summer when Kim was a constant no show for tapings and events. While she often used her pregnancy as an excuse, the ladies weren’t buying it.

Contrary to popular belief, being a member of the cast of RHOA is a job and the ladies all depend on each other to show up for work. Being that Phaedra Parks taped constantly back when first joined the cast (when she was pregnant with Ayden) it seemed that Kim was being given special treatment and the woman protested.

What happened next was that instead of Kim getting the boot (which she really deserved) Bravo gave her a spin-off show.

Since Zolciak wouldn’t leave her house to tape with the ladies, Bravo sent the camera crew to her. Oh… and she begged her former “assistant” Sweetie Hughes to return since the other Atlanta housewives weren’t willing to tape with her any longer.

[FLASHBACK: SFTA EXCLUSIVE One on One With Sweetie Hughes (PHOTOS + VIDEO)]

I hate to pull the race card… but it’s no secret that Kim was the token White chick on the cast of RHOA. If you notice, the other franchises aren’t forced to include a token Black housewife, so if she doesn’t fit… I don’t see why she should be forced to stay.

And don’t even get me started on Kroy…

[FLASHBACK: Kim Zolciak Wants You To Know… (Response to Sweetie Interview)]

And am I the only one who was perturbed about Kim’s whole holier than thou attitude when she visited Kandi’s new home?

[FLASHBACK: Kandi Shows Off Her New Home (PHOTOS)]

Kim to Kandi: “You don’t need sun.” “If I was black, I would have an indoor pool too.“

Wait… what?

When trailer park Zolciak said, ?I locked my car doors when we pulled off the highway into Kandi?s neighborhood.? it was a wrap for me! Especially because I grew up near the area where Kandi purchased her new home.

Clearly I’m not the only one who feels some kinda way about that blonde bimbo.

Ummm… bitch, at least she has a house. In fact Kandi has two! Her old house AND her new house! Hell… her guest house is better than that spot that you were squatting in. Hoe sit down!

But I digress!

VIDEO: Michelle Brown Recaps RHOA on Atlanta’s Kiss 104.1 FM

Funky Dineva has a lot to say about the premiere episode as well:

VIDEO: Funky Dineva – My Hair is Layed Like Cynthia Bailey (RHOA S5 Ep1 Recap)

As I stated via Twitter last night:

Clearly @kenyamoore is the ‘new’ @neneleakes! Nene is too big now to be shucking & jiving for the cameras & Kenya is thirsty… #rhoa

? Michelle Brown (@ATLien) November 5, 2012

Nene is getting the hell on and Bravo knows they need another “Nene” (ie angry loud Black woman) to fill her size 11 Louboutins… Kenya is it.

And check it. Kenya, the new booty on duty, admits that she’s a bit of an actress and she’s ready, willing and able to face the challenges that come along with being an Atlanta “housewife” without a husband.

In a recent interview with the NYPost, Moore states:

?You know what, I?ve been in worse situations. I?m a fighter, I?m from Detroit … I?m very resilient. I?m really not afraid of anything.

So, some reality stars from Atlanta? No, I wasn?t afraid of any of them. I?ve been to the Academy Awards, I?m not afraid of a ?Housewife?!?

Or in other words… she’s ready for her close up! Ready… set… GO!

What did you think of the premiere episode of RHOA?

With all the new “Kenya” drama did you even notice Sheree had left the building??