Meet 31-year-old Hersha Howard. Howard is *dead “A”zz serious* about her Girl Scout cookies! So much so, that when her roommate (allegedly) ate her stash of thin mints, Howard went crazy and tried to beat her “A”zz…. over some dayum COOKIES!!!!

According to the Naples Daily News, Howard woke up her roommate, Jasmin Wanke around 1am Sunday morning and accused her of eating her Thin Mints.

As you know, the chocolate-coated mint wafers are one of the most popular Girl Scout varieties and are only available once a year.

Howard, apparently distressed over the fact that she’d have no thin mints again until next spring, yelled and screamed at her roommate about those dayum cookies during the wee hours of the morning and then physically attacked her!

Wanke claims Howard ? who according to the police report weighs 400 pounds ? jumped on her and hit her in the face. They fought until Wanke’s husband pulled them apart.

[Sidebar: First… Why is this 400lb cookie monster still eating? And second… why does that married couple have a roomate? Answers! I need answers!!! *sigh* Carry on…]

Howard then allegedly chased after Wanke with a pair of scissors, police were told. Howard ditched the cutting implements, however, and instead picked up a board and whacked Wanke.

The fight moved into the kitchen, where Howard allegedly attacked Wanke again. As they fought, Howard bit Wanke’s breast and struck her several times.

Wanke’s husband once again separated the pair, and somehow kept the 400lb woman restrained until cops arrived.

Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail.

Hide yo kids… hide yo wives… hide yo cookies too!