This has absolutely nothing to do with O.S.A.M.s. Or maybe it does? Seeing as it’s one of the last posts this 2009 Women’s History Month, perhaps it’s a conduit (or excuse) for re-evaluating: 1.) every bad (and good) romantic relationship I’ve ever been in, and 2.) why I’m a woman who’s always been lousy at……..sharing cookies?
I’ll buy me some cookies quick, fast and in a hurry, and Neiman Marcus at Lenox has the best chocolate chip cookies EV-ER. As I had a doctor’s appointment Monday morning that required I not eat for the 8 hours beforehand, I took myself to lunch there for succulent shrimp salad and some of those N(eedless) M(arkup) cookies immediately after that doctor let me go. On my way out the door, I saw Steve Harvey looking at ties. Later that same day, I saw him on Oprah. Wednesday morning, I got a chain email about said appearance on Oprah. See how exciting life really is in The A?
While I ain’t never gonna be mad at a black man truly in love with a black woman (‘specially in ‘Lanta), I was kinda skeptical at this particular black man (of all folk) going on Oprah (of all shows) trying to tell black women howta make that (of all things) happen. Here’s why:
Harvey & 1st Wife ‘What’s Her Name’
He’s a funny brother, no denying that, a true Kang of Comedy if there ever were a few, but I’ve never been a big Steve Harvey fan as I was told a few years ago that (beautiful, talented and) Wonderful Wife Marjorie came at the expense of a long-suffering First Wife ‘What’s Her Name‘. My stuff, and I admit it was my stuff, was kinda like Aurntie Pearl being Mad at Miles and all (in the age of Chris Brown, it may behoove you to Google that Miles thang). May they all live happily ever after at this point, whatever their respective deals are, and none of us are perfect. Even Steve concedes that God ain’t finished with him yet. Judge lest not ye be judged and all that Golden Rule stuff notwithstanding, First Wife ‘What’s Her Name‘ obviously benefited him in at least one regard. To paraphrase that 3000 we all love to quote, she took his lil “A” to school!
He wrote a book about it. Wanna hear it? Here it go………..Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. My first response? Huh? My second; give the brother a chance.
So, while cooking dinner for my man, I thought like a kwintrillion other recessionist ladies and watched this Oprah episode with one of my umpteenth’leven cousins who is uberfabulous and recently divorced (after 30 years of matrimony). I must say, I’m really feeling some of what Mr. Harvey has to say. She is, too. Fellow (newly transplanted) Atlantan Steve done made me write a whole new page in one of the twenty-two kwintrillion books in my head (Title: If He Ain’t That Into You, Make Him Get Up Outta You) and I’m liking how it reads.
**Sidebar: Kwintrillion and umpteenth’leven are real numerical values that will soon be used to describe the U.S. deficit. They are the two respective zeros that come before the number google. (Google it.) April Fool’sJ!**
I think I’m starting to be something better than a fan of Mr. Harvey’s; I’m starting to respect him as a man – a black man not afraid to explore and expose that growth process. If more did it, maybe more would follow their lead. According to my friends who listen to his show, he values that (respect) a little more than….fandamonium.
Harvey with 2nd Wife, Marjorie
Now when his deal affords Marjorie a book of her own, telling them mens howta KEEP a black woman, umma be ready to bow down and pay fan club dues like I did for the Jackson 5 in ‘75. And that book’s release date is………….?
I’ve been with my husband for 21 years (ask somebody) and I am guilty of lowering not just my standards and expectations regarding our relationship, but of also allowing him to lower his own. Time and a recession will do that to even the most devoted duo, which is another reason I can kind of separate Steve’s First Wives Club entry from his commentary. I’ve been checked and called on it, done the same for my spouse and we’re doing what we can at this point to try and elevate each other. Relationships ebb and flow, but only the parties involved decide who drowns, who gets those coveted seats on the lifeboat and why.
Whatever ends up happening with us, I never would have imagined that Steve Harvey of the Mr. Hightower, Rev. Ike Suit Wearing, Back of the Bus Jonin’, High School Band Marchin’ Set (he and uberfabulous were in dueling bands back in the day in Cleveland) would give me so much food for thought regarding a black man and some love. Check out the links and make your own call. Just thought I’d pass it (all) along as one of my umpteenth’leven other cousins was nice enough to send the Oprah part to me in that email (Thanks D).
Steve Harvey’s Con Job Divorce (TheSmokingGun)
And, good luck to all you women out there looking for just the right cookie jar. Let them dudes know that, stale or fresh, doughy raw or burnt crisp, it’sa jar for every cookie but every cookie don’t need just any old jar. If it ain’t got a good cookie in it, it’s just an empty and useless vessel. And sometimes, two sweets stacked up together all by themselves can make that cookie look (and taste) just as nice and just as sweet. (BTW: That was an Oprah show this week, too.)