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As you know, Ocean recently published his own open letter, becoming the first hip-hop artist to openly discuss his relationship with another man.
Ocean’s decision to do so could push musical boundaries, however it’s clear that his words may also heal heal a lot of wounds. With that being said, read the poignant words of author Terrance Dean, who knows first hand that there are even more artists out there “Hiding in Hip Hop.”
An open letter to Mr. Christopher Breaux, “Frank Ocean”:
Over the course of the past few days I read on the blogs, and saw a few tweets chattering about an R&B artist coming out. Your name surfaced, along with an interview you did overseas, and then you wrote on Tumblr about a relationship you had four years ago with a young man. You shared how it changed your life, and how that young man was your first love.
Initially, when I first heard the news about an R&B artist coming out I wasn’t moved. I actually thought it was a hoax created by someone. As we all know how well internet gossip fuels outings, pre-mature deaths, and other lies about celebrities. So, I dismissed it. I was waiting for you, or your publicist, to issue their pre-made ready-to-go written statement For Artists Who Are Considered Gay When The Rainbow Is Not Enuff: “I am not gay. I did not come out. I am a heterosexual man, and I love women.” However, that didn’t happen.
You actually responded to your legion of fans, and the world, by announcing your love and declaration affirming yourself in a new era Hip Hop world that is drifting toward a new normal that is no longer filled with the hetero masculine machismo that despises homosexuality.
You see, in 2008, my book was released, Hiding In Hip Hop: On The Down Low in the Entertainment Industry From Music to Hollywood
. It’s my memoir detailing my life of working in the entertainment industry, and being privy to many friendships with a number of closeted celebrities, as well as a few relationships I shared with most of them. So, the news of an R&B artist coming out and admitting his true sexuality was not a shock to me. I actually have been awaiting the day, counting down the hours and minutes as to when one of my friends, or past lovers, would be brave enough to come forward and make a public announcement (My inhale continues to expand). But, it wasn’t one of them. No. It was someone younger. Much braver.
An artist who isn’t hindered by the old relics of Hip Hop, or the entertainment school of, “Don’t you come out or it will ruin your career,” and the record label politics. It was YOU. Someone who recognizes their own uniqueness and the power they have to change a world with their honesty and truth. It was you Frank Ocean. A trailblazer. A journeyman. A true lyricist. An artist. A pioneer. A hero.
So, I want to thank you, Mr. Frank Ocean, for your courageousness. It takes a brave soul to come forth in truth, and in love, despite what the rest of the world is doing or feeling as “flavor of the week,” as legendary soul singer, Maze, recently said in a speech at the 2012 BET Awards.
The mirror image you’re reflecting to the world gives us a new vision to aspire to. Your grace and ability to stand in your truth, and BE who you are called to BE, give others the courage and strength to be unafraid and be FREE. Thank you for not playing small, or even allowing yourself to be small. You’re too BIG, and nothing can contain your SPIRIT for it is your CALLing to give us this moment. Right here. Right now. There are many young people, even mature people, who are struggling with their identity, and are afraid to step out of the shadows for fear of being judged, criticized, or ridiculed. Every day the fear grips and chokes them, just as it once did to you. So, please know that they are watching, reading, and listening to you, and the declaration you’re making. A black man in Hip Hop, who looks like them, speaks like them, and realized his dreams despite of the backlash or BS others tend to hold on to because of their own prejudices against same gender loving people. You boldly refuse to be bound by others, and in that declaration you are giving others a hope and courage to aspire to. Being black and gay so many times we hear, “No,” and “You can’t,” or, “It’s impossible.” Yet, you are heard around the world on radio stations, have performed in stadiums before hundreds and thousands of people, and club DJs bang your songs in the clubs while men and women, straight, gay, and bi, bop their heads and two-step to YOUR GROOVE. Yes, that is POWER-FULL!
What many people don’t understand is that coming out is a process. Though it is a process that is formed in our BEings, and shaped into our purpose, however, it takes KNOWing SELF, and BEcoming TRUTH-FULL within one’s self in order to be able to share it with others. No one can make you do it before your time. It is not up to them. It’s up to the CREATOR, and HIS will, and the moment HE knows YOU are ready to be responsible of the task and gift to give to the world. This is YOUR time.
Your gift has, and, is being revealed right before our eyes, and we are bearing witness to it. Every time you’ve opened your mouth we’ve heard it in your songs. Your melodic, smooth, and hypnotic voice lingering gingerly with the beats blending perfectly to tell us about love, happiness, hopefulness, and starting again. Thank you for the gift of your voice, and for understanding how to use it.
I also want to thank you for being open, vulnerable, and FRANK regarding your first love with another man. What a powerful testament in bearing your soul, and being emotional, open, and so revealing for the entire world to see, especially your emotions, and feelings for another man. Truly amazing, and ever graceful.
And, yes, we all know about first loves. The ones we’d walk to the earth’s end for. The ones whose voice, smell, and touch gives us a reason to live and look forward to until the next moment we see them again. It’s hard loving someone so much and they don’t even know the depth of your love, and how you’ll give your heart to them, and even lay down and die for them. It’s hard because as you’ve stated so eloquently in your letter that when you were finally able to say the words letting that young man know how you felt about him, and his response was a pat on the back and him saying how he could not return the love, I knew that moment. I knew that experience. I could relate, as well as many of your fans who have experienced love and love lost. We’ve all been there sharing our hearts, words, thoughts, yet, the other person responds with a non-empathetic response. They don’t get it. They don’t understand that it took so much courage, and us fighting through our fears to be vulnerable and in a space where we once were afraid to go. However, for some ODD reason you felt the strength and courage to reveal all because you wanted to be free, floating, and living in that forever euphoric space that they made you feel whenever they were around. But, they tell you that they cannot love you the way you love them. They can’t be or give you what you want them to be. Your world stops. The sky falls. The earth sinks. The air goes stale, and you can’t breathe. The life has been sucked out of you and you know there will be no more tomorrow’s because there will be no more anything.
Yet, you’ve found the strength from a loving and nurturing support system of friends, loved ones, and family who healed you through. They lifted you, inspired you, and encouraged you. And, in the power of your BEing you were able to rise, lift the earth, and connect us to you with your symphonic music and tantalizing lyrics. Simply because you acknowledged your greater SELF which you stated at the end of your letter, “I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore…I feel like a free man.” POWER-FULL!
Just as singer, Adele, wailed with an open wounded heart on her 21 album, singing about a rejected love, and Mary J. Blige, cried out with a soulful blues of an unrequited love on her, My Life album, their vulnerability connected them with their fans. Just as you have done with your letter. And, yes, there are many artists who have made songs about former lovers, ill-fated relationships, and love lost, but Mary J. Blige and Adele touched the souls of folks like an old Negro spiritual. And, in that connectedness their truths catapulted them to superstardom. My hope and prayer for you is that your new album, Orange, in which reviewers say that many of the songs are an ode to a love lost with another man, will have the same effect as 21 and My Life did on the lives of music fans around the world, and it catapult you into the superstar stratosphere where you belong.
Thank you, Frank Ocean, for inviting us into your space, and giving us the opportunity to know you emotionally, spiritually, and humanly.
From author, Terrance Dean
FULL PHOTO GALLERY
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not only is this open letter ridiculous it was more about himself than frank ocean…this man need to get a life, and some HELP – FAST!!!! WOW….. no one need to know what you do behind closed doors with another man, no one have to accept you being with another man and frankly no one cares about the downlow hip hoppers !!! ugh!!! get over yourself, dean, no one owes you nothing….GET SOME HELP!!! this letter was way too long, hell i thought i was reading a NOVEL!!!! get a life!!!
i wholeheartedly agree!
I agree also. No book sales here Mr.
Yeah agree with everything you said,and also it looks like he would like to tap frank ocean a$$….smdh
exactly! lol lol lol nasty self!
I agree. His response was longer than Frank Ocean’s announcement, and his book sucked (no pun intended).
*****yawns***** someone wake me when there is something interested posted.
He seems like a fraudulent, attention whore.
That he is,you should his rediculous advice he give on that blog site that start with b-p. Who cares what people are doing behind closed door….
*see
Still dont know who he is, but I commend his bravery!!!!
He’s probably writing it to the gay or dl community. We obviously dodn’t care. I agree it was too long. After awhile I started skimming and eventually gave up and never finished it.
Dear Terrance Dean,
I’m sure this letter started out with the very best of intentions but gurl, it is NOT ABOUT YOU. It is about Frank right now. Nobody read your book and frankly, nobody cares. Frank’s talent and his resilience will carry him far. I suggest you find something that will do the same for you that doesn’t reek of armchair quarterback stunt queen. Toodles…
I so agree!
Frank Ocean decided to share his personal situation and now you got opportunists coming out try to make Frank’s revelations about them or Black people when all Frank Ocean did was to speak on his first love that happened to be a man.
Shout Out to Frank Ocean for being so courageous with his talented self….
I hope Frank reads all that because I damn sure couldn’t
I tried but once I realized it was a never ending story I stopped
Okaaay, Ain’t nobody got time for datt…lol
Don’t you just love how this open letter to Frank is all about the person who wrote it. Please sir, have a seat _/
Major kudos to Mr. Ocean.
what a touching letter to Frank! still feel like he wanted to promote that book once again but i respect what he’s saying
Who cares who you sleeping with. Why is this such a big deal. Just make music. Your personal life is not fans business. Nobody has to come out the closet, that’s something they have to come to terms with. I hate when people try to force someone to come out. Sell music not your personal life
AMEN!!! It’s like how much attention does one NEED!!! ENOUGH already. Being gay is so old an if you’re STILL in the closet, DAMMIT STAY THERE!!
Thank You!!!
And what could his book be about anyway? He seems to have been around. So now he’s making $$$ using pseudonyms and descriptions of dudes that we’re sure to recognize who otherwise wouldn’t want to be associated with him? When did ANY dudes start turning down head? They don’t think that makes them gay. Especially dudes that do time.
Exactly i think T Dean his bitter because all those men use him for experiment……lol
*is
I might have read the whole thing if it wasnt so long, are you in love with him DAMN. I got the jist from the first two paragraphs. Him coming out will open the doors for others. My sis interned at a record label and Frank Ocean is not the only one with stories to tell.
I’m gay and that letter was to queer and to long and don’t tell the straights to mucch some of u punks kill me ur breaking all kinds of gay codes that cunt is right u don’t have to let folks know u get fucked by rapper and hip hop moguls or dl guys shit what bad punk doesn’t. But the thing is Tara you have to keep him that’s why you bitter cause u can’t keep these niggas and you know why queen cause u breaking codes next u can’t want fagss in hip hop and rap to come out cause ur gay ass out if they not ready I say no and u say u been with one before then you know coming out is going to fuck up that money who’s willing to fuck up the money over some gay shit the GAY MAFIA coming for u queen out mine I’m going to beAt u down fairy and if you really about this life you to a OATH. This ya boi. Oragee county
Love it!
Zackly!! Be lookin’ for the youtube video.
I agree he breaking all the gay code.what ever happened to gays behind closed doors,i mean i went to a fashion design school full of gays (some of the best friends might i add),however they was not on this whole coming out thing,they were doing them and nothing mattered it’s this whole gay marriage shit that’s got the gay community all jacked,before that gays were content living as they should not bothering nobody or in need of confirmation to just be them.why the need for confirmation now ijs…
Im annoyed by frank saying that the guy he was in love with went back upstairs to his waiting girlfriend. Why involve a women? ! ? I actually went through this after high school with my high school sweetheart of a 2 yr relationship. Unfortunately he passed away about 5 yrs later.mhe was a great friend & I had no idea…
What Frank and Terrance do is their business. They are both of legal age and aren’t committing a crime. I do have an issue with Terrance’s hypocrisy. He writes for Black Planet/Hello Beautiful, and he has a nasty habit of being extremely mean and condescending to women who write in to seek advice, yet I am sure that if he sought advice he would want someone to reply to him in a respectful manner.
It amazes me that certain groups of people want to be accepted for who they are, but they lack the ability to accept other people. I.e. Support my lifestyle while I tear you down for being overweight, etc………
You have to give support and respect in order to earn support and respect.
You are so right on the acceptance being a one way street. I would so love for colleagues who push for acceptance and validation (from others not from themselves), to be as accepting of others who are different from them.
Blah, blah, blah….spill the tea Dean who you slept with?
The gay code beeen broken… a long time ago. Who doesn’t know what goes on in that world? Who doesn’t know that most of these celebs are gay/bi? The game has been sold, especially for us that have gay family/friends. Theres nothing left to see here. Oh the horrific mind images…
This is not meant in any negative tone or connotation but… does this mean that Frank Ocean will be making music targeting the gay community? If so, thanks for the heads up. I can not be a patron.
@OhReally, i absolutely agree with you. Terrance is very nasty to the women that ask him for advice. I never read his condescending collums. I believe that Terrance falls in the category of gay men that hate women because they could NEVER be one. I would be bitter too if i were an old, used up piece of expired meat that had to pay for companionship when the bar is over too, so i guess i feel sorry for him.
open letter…a bunch of malarky…beat it get outta here
Just to add… I like many others can’t understand why it is important for an artist to verbally "come out". Do You. Live Your life. Be Yourself. As a musical artist make good tunes and make your money. AGREED… no one needs to know what any one is doing behind closed doors, whether gay or straight. Thank You.
…and thank YOU!!!
FIND JESUS PEOPLE!!!!!! REALLY
exactly!!!!!!!! straight people are becoming the minority geeshhh
I think you should do a million straight people march
LOL!! and it better be quick cause numbers are dwindling as we type.
Coming out is empowering and everything, but I’ve never heard of this dude. Publicity anyone?
Look at this Dudes Pics. And you didn’t know he was GAY! His song suck! he Sounds horrible! Is this why he came out? so he could sell records or get a new fan base? FRANK OCEAN CONGRATS ON COMMING OUT!! NOW LEARN HOW TO SING!!!! SNAP! SISTA! AS I FLIPP MY HAIR LOL JP! IM JUST KEEPING IT REAL
You commenters are funny. You say don’t care. For those you that got a man I think you would want to know if he was on down low? Or does that not matter to you anymore?
Terrance, even though God loves you I don’t Think he agrees with you. Somewhere you father failed you. Not to say mines was any better but at least I did not get any gay vibes. It’s very important for men to be men an women to be women.It’s the creators natural order. When you go against it there are consequence. Perid
Yes thank u…just sad.
dude wtf, u congratulating him for being what a bitch….plz that’s whats wrong with this world too many of u men trying to b women. Sad as hell. He could’ve kept that to himself and stop having sex with women and spreading God knows what to these girls. Just nasty.