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  • Facebook Fail… Are These Your Daughters? [FOR DISCUSSION]

    Oct, 7 2011 | Written by ATLien

    This ain’t cute at all!  This photo was posted on Facebook and Tumblr recently of two pregnant teen girls. The caption read, “Two pregnant BFF’s 15 and 14 years old…”

    I instantly thought of the story I wrote last year about 90 girls in one school’s student population who were all pregnant at the same time.

    [READ: 90 Teens Pregnant at 1 Memphis High school ~ VIDEO]

    October  has been designated as “Let’s Talk” month so that we can at least get the conversation started with our teens.  This discussion needs to be had with BOTH boys and girls because… DUH! it takes both to make a baby.

    Bringing a new life into the world is a beautiful thing that should not be taken lightly. Many teen moms and dads are ill equipped to care for that new life and are forced into poverty stricken conditions.  Is that what we want for our next generation?

    Georgia has the 13th highest teen pregnancy rate in the country. Preventing teen pregnancy often starts by changing circumstances and inspiring young people.  Being that teens are posting photos like this online, pregnancy at such a young age is clearly becoming more acceptable in their culture and we need to do something quick, fast and in a hurry!

    What are your thoughts about this duel teen pregnancy pic?

    For more information about “Let’s Talk” Month:

    GCAPP (The Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention)
    Planned Parenthood

    Tweet

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    71 Comments

    • Nickolas Pele' Parker via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm

      wow…..you can bet they planned to get pregnant at the same time…its not cute…its sad…and now the grand parents are gonna be parents all over again….

      Reply
    • Allison Biggers Barrett via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 3:54 pm

      no comment…..

      Reply
    • Nedra Williams via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 3:56 pm

      SMDH

      Reply
    • anonymous says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm

      Those two young ladies live in my community. That picture is about a year or so old. My daughter had a baby at 15. They all went to school together. At that time, 60% of her high school graduating class was either pregnant or they had children in the 11th or 12th grade. For some reasons, these young ladies think babies are an "accessory"… It’s not cute. I love my granddaughter, but did not want to see my daughter end up a statistic. I made sure she finished high school and she is now attending college, while raising her daughter. Fortunately, the young man who was her boyfriend at the time, is a great father and an active father, who too, is finishing college now. The sad part about it is, we as parents – our lives are put on hold and we are somewhat raising our grandchildren too. Teenage pregnancy is the "in thing" for some of these girls.

      Reply
      • Skittles says:
        October 24, 2011 at 3:01 pm

        Well said

        Reply
    • NeCole Williams via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm

      More babies raising babies smh at their mothers they know they should have had them on birth control especially in this day and time #justsad

      Reply
    • ChanNTexas says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:14 pm

      This picture makes me so disgusted. Everytime i see a pregnant teen i just shake my head.

      Reply
    • Michelle Moore-Redmond via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:25 pm

      Smdh….its really sad ….pray for or teens

      Reply
    • BeyAndJayAllDay says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

      Eventhough we may all see this as sad,(which it is), but it’s also reality. We can’t fault these teen girls completely for their mistakes, we must first look at the parents. Where the heck were you when your teen dauhter or son was somewhere having unprotected sex and making these babies. It is sad that we as parents feel that sex is a taboo and refuse to talk to and educate our teens about the issue as well as how to protect themselves.

      we have to stop thinking that these children won’t have sex before marriage and start equiping them with knowledge and common sense.

      Reply
    • Charmell Butler via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:30 pm

      What a disgrace!!

      Reply
    • Shawauna King via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

      and im sure the dads are no where to be found! its gona be a hard life and i hope thier ready! smh

      Reply
    • Tiffany Lovemyboo via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:40 pm

      Wow

      Reply
    • Shaneka Stevens via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

      Sad, that they think its cute. I was a teen mother, although I was in my senior year of high school, I was still a teenager. I graduated, but my life became about my son. I now have 4 children and I am just now going back to college to obtain my degree, and it is not easy. I have 3 daughters and Im not silly to the fact that my girls wont listen to their peers versus me, there are too many forms of birth control available and the clinics give out free condoms. There is no excuse. In my home when you bleed you go on the shot, so you cant say I forgot to take my pill.

      Reply
    • Willa Thomas says:
      October 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      Hmmm…. This ain’t cute by no stretch of the imagination but blaming the parents may not be the answer. You can teach your children values but the best you can hope for is when they walk out the door they employ those values they were taught in the home. Unless you plan on locking them in their rooms until they’re 45 and really who wants a 45 year old adolescent. This is one of those things where you get mad as hell at your daughters , discuss options and whatever options you employ, you support the daughters and pray this was a one time thing that doesn’t happen again till they’re ready (preferably married and college educated).

      Reply
      • Skittles says:
        October 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm

        Well said!! I was waiting to see somebody defend the parents lol!!

        Reply
    • Tiffani Williams via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      Lawd :( Have Mercy Jesus cuz when I was child I acted as a child …but the Parental model or lack their of, an No prayer and Pride is the blAme for this uncuteness but in their eyes its is acceptable why has this not been puLled this is not to be shared cuz it makes us look bad….now I ask where is their MTV moment!!

      Reply
    • Kamalla says:
      October 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm

      Not really surprised. When you have "urban" and "ghetto" kids who have no interest in education, community, and who come from teen parents themselves, its inevitable that they would use sex as a pastime and view babies as toys and accessories. The problem comes in how the next generation will be raised and cared for. Studies show that most of the incarcerated are born to teen mothers and that most kids who live in poverty were born to teen mothers. Also teen mother are not apt to seek proper prenatal care and their offspring are often born with developmental problems.
      I ask "where are the fathers?" Were they teen boys also or were these hot to trot girls messing with grown men?

      This is just one reason why prospective parents don’t want daughters. Females are inherently sexually irresponsible.

      Reply
    • Kamalla says:
      October 7, 2011 at 5:48 pm

      …and burdensome.

      I feel sorry for these girls mothers because now they have the added responsibility of playing both mom and grandmom. Best believe these lil brats aren’t through. They will be on to child #2 and #3 before they reach their 20s.

      Reply
    • Jackie says:
      October 7, 2011 at 5:50 pm

      Going on this photo alone- this is sick. Hopefully they were happy about something else, rather than happy to be pregnant. I was 18 when I had my twin girls. They are now 14. From day 1 I have had open conversation with them about not repeating my mistakes and the hurdles it created for them. The biggest being that I chose to have them with an irresponsible man.
      Since they were of understanding age we have talked birth control. While I have made it clear that I don’t want them sexually active, I have also made it clear that I would prefer a daughter on bc than a grandchild, or abortion, or disease. Sex is more than sex. It is babies, it is self esteem, it is communication, it is expectations of self and the partner. We talk extensively and while I don’t feel bulletproof, I don’t deny the reality of the world we live in.
      Lastly, more than talking pure and living dirty I am a model of responsibility accountability and education. It is not lost on them either.

      Reply
    • Catherine Harvey Parnell via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm

      Too sad

      Reply
    • Trina Renee via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm

      Where’s they Mother’s at?

      Reply
    • Marcus Welby via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 6:25 pm

      appalling

      Reply
    • Vic says:
      October 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm

      Oh yes, it is definitely the parents fault because parents need to keep their children occupied at all times with postive and creative things to help them grow. Instead of these girls getting out of school then going home laying up with their little boyfriends their parents should have had them in additional classes preparing them for college and the future or some type of sport activity or anything. By the time they get home, they will only have enough time to do home work then go to bed. Over the summer break they would be working a part time job in addition to taking classes, you can never be too smart. The only thing these 2 girls parents have prepared them for is being young mothers where they think having sex is real cool and being part of the In -crowd which is dumb. Preparing kids for the future takes a lot of work on the parents part, if the parents are not willing to get involved then things like this will continue to happen.

      Reply
    • Chil Hush says:
      October 7, 2011 at 6:50 pm

      Wow

      Reply
    • Amita Harden via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 7:22 pm

      WOW… THIS IS NOT ONLY WHAT THE WORLD IS COMING TO BUT THIS IS THE REALNESS OF THE WORLD. These kids are not being told the truth about life and the realities of having unprotected sex. At the same time some of these kids think they are grown because of what they see on this idiot box we call “television” THERE IS SO MUCH that needs to be done but you don’t know where to start. You don’t see anything on these daggone videos but sex sex sex. .. the music that we listen to who these little girls are obssesed will only singing about breaking a girls back in and the neighbors know my name and motivation… and blah blah blah.. (i mean no disrespect but truth is truth) if trey songs, rick ross, and all these other people think that they are not making role model music then they got another thing coming. Now parents are not exempt either some of these parents are to sorry to be able to parent properly, they think that being a friend is better than being a parent, and they think that raising kids in the digital world can be taught like they were taught… sorry that don’t work in the 21st century. if your kids are on facebook and you don’t even know how to turn on the damn computer well you are going to have a communication problem with them. .point blank.. if we are all products of oufr environment then that means everything that we see , hear, think and talk about develops or underdevelops us.; I honestly believe that if the music were more role model music these kids would know how to say “lets wait a while before its too late, lets’ wait a while before we go too far” now when was the last time you heard a track like that on the radio or in itunes?? im done

      Reply
    • TrinaMack Kafley via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 7:46 pm

      Wow!!!!

      Reply
    • Adriana Callens via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 8:08 pm

      This is sad. Babies raising babies :(

      Reply
    • ThisIsMeeeee says:
      October 7, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      OMG! And to think that these tweenie boppers think this is cute. Something needs to be done about this. We need to boycot 16 and pregnant and also parents should be held accountable to teach their teens about making babies. My heart bleeds for these girls.

      Reply
    • MRS. Dwane Love says:
      October 7, 2011 at 11:38 pm

      Talk to your children and make sure your children are comfortable talking to you. Stop trying to be a freind and be the parent and maybe you wont end up being a grand parent. After all, a child is only going do what you the parent allows. Bottom Line…

      Reply
    • Latoya Dionne Williams via Facebook says:
      October 7, 2011 at 11:49 pm

      OMG Lord lord lord!! Some one needs to mentor them.Love them and train them.

      Reply
    • Shawndrea Vining via Facebook says:
      October 8, 2011 at 3:22 am

      NOW THAT’S A HOT MESS!!!

      Reply
    • Penny says:
      October 8, 2011 at 9:37 am

      This is so unfortunate and if one thinks the blame is solely the parents, then do your research about teen pregnancy. You can raise your children with christian values, talk to them about sex and the reality of it, keep them involved all you want too, but if that child is one that wants to fit in with its peers, what you have taught is out the window the minute they get with their friends. I’m not saying all of them will, but I guarantee 80% or more of them will. Educating them is the key, but how they apply that education is more key here..

      Reply
    • KH says:
      October 8, 2011 at 10:41 am

      So sad :(

      Reply
    • Sexii Panties says:
      October 8, 2011 at 5:27 pm

      SMH

      Reply
    • customcalendars4u2 says:
      October 9, 2011 at 12:47 am

      No one can blame a sexually active teen on their parents, but if the parents of a sexually active teen gets pregnant or gets someone pregnant and there has "Never" been any open discussions about sex and the consequences of it then the parents will feel guilty and blame themselves or each other anyway. Once a child is old enough and responsible enough to come and go as they please(latch key kids) you just have to hope for the best. For those of you living in a bubble no matter how busy you try to keep rambunctious teens and tweens if they are risk takers and want to have sex then they will do it on a school bus,@ school,after school programs,church,at the house while their little friends are visiting with you in the next room,at a friends house and I could go on and on but I won’t because NOW you now get the picture. Whatever the case whether the grandparents are well to do or poor after the baby comes the teens realize the moment labor begins that there is no turning back and life is not a joke!

      Reply
    • Rikky Smith Jones via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 5:57 am

      This is not new…it just they r not getting

      Reply
    • Rikky Smith Jones via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 6:04 am

      Their not getting married that’s the problem…these young men r not stepping up…my great grand had her child.at 15…but times has change now adays u have the babe and mayb you will get married LOL.

      Reply
    • Iceberg Ponyboi Shug via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 6:05 am

      U wanna kno whats also sad? Sumbody took this pic for them. So whoever that person is condones their condition….n my opinion. Smh

      Reply
    • Sherry says:
      October 9, 2011 at 6:05 am

      When I saw these two girls on Facebook the other day, I had no idea it would hit the internet like a viral fever being the picture was over a year old..
      Honestly, my first thoughts were of Halle Barry, Nia Long, and other celebrity pregnant mom’s whom have taken pictures during their pregnancy for magazines, I know this is where these kids got these ideas..
      We want to blame the girls, but like Michelle said it take two.. A conversation I had with my son’s father early on when he thought he would call me & tell me that I was being hard on my son’s curfew.. I’m old fashion & don’t apologize for it.. Boy or girl I don’t think it should be a double-standard.. When the street lights come on, he come in, point blank.. His father felt if we had a daughter it would be different.. Like I said to him then, our son would be out there with someone’s daughter & that doesn’t make it many more right..

      Peace!!

      Reply
    • Michelle Brown via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 6:10 am

      True… it’s not new Rikky Smith Jones but back in the day girls (and parents) were embarrassed & ashamed of teen pregnancies. So that was somewhat of a deterrent IMO. Nowadays it’s so acceptable that it has it’s own tv show. So girls are TRYING to get knocked up. a dayum shame…

      Reply
    • anonymous says:
      October 9, 2011 at 7:10 am

      This is not an urban or ghetto issue,its an American issue.Teen pregnancy has not just become an issue.I believe that the root of the problem is parents,lack of parental guidance,a poor educational system (no child behind),lack of jobs and job training.Lack of resources in communities.My grandmom had 9 children and a 10th grade education.Yet all of her children completed high school,college,military or vocational school.

      Reply
    • anonymous says:
      October 9, 2011 at 7:12 am

      @Penny.ITA.

      Reply
    • Ebony Daley via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 7:17 am

      I don’t understand today’s youth! At 15, I wanted to work to save for a car at 16. A child wasn’t in my plans of going to college and traveling the world. I will be thirty soon and the way young ladies today act is absolutely appalling.

      Reply
    • Lovin Myhusband via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 7:41 am

      I dont feel there sayin its accetable I feel they r tryin to show teen gurls how hard it is to raise a child some gurls think we havin a baby dude gone stick around alot of gurls see the glits n glamour of a baby there cute they have cute clothes etc. they dont c the 2 a.m feedings or the fact they dont have a child hood n e more cause all there friends r goin out n u stuck n da house now wit a baby thats what teen mom is about showin them what these gurls have to go through teen pregnancy is reality they made a show because its real n its not goin away teen pregnancy ratings actually dropped since they made the show…teen mom show them gurls want to tell there story to prevent pregnany not say its accetable because so many young gurls r havin babies I have 2 gurls right now they’re only 4 n 5 but when they get older imma make sure I Always talk to them n try my best to prevent that kinda thing from happenin

      Reply
    • Lovin Myhusband via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 7:49 am

      I dont feel like its the parents fault u can have a parent that talk to u everyday all day on u hard but kids r sneaky Im 29 so not that long ago I was a teenager n my dad use to be on me but he couldnt keep me n da house afterschool Sometimes I wouldnt jus come home u cant watch ur kids 24/7 I wasnt a teen mom thank god. they say teen mom is a cycle 9 times outta 10 those teens moms, moms were teen moms I Had my first child at 22 I was moved out n graduated high school my sister was 24 when she had her son. my mother was 17 when she had my sis so we broke that cycle.

      Reply
    • Michelle Brown via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 7:50 am

      Agreed…. Ebony Daley

      Reply
    • Tee Idoitforthem Tee via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 8:48 am

      Jesus take the wheel….sad case.

      Reply
    • Tee Idoitforthem Tee via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 9:05 am

      I agree lovin myhusband!! These kiss are clueless and have no idea the hardships about to come. The am feeding, pray they don’t have babies with colic or some health issues, it’s only gonna intensify the problems. Then you have a lot of babies being abused, or left in the garbage, or in one case a teen mom mistakenly put her newborn in the microwave instead of the bottle, claiming she was exhausted from lack if sleep. However, the state didn’t buy that and her life is now over.

      Reply
    • Tee Idoitforthem Tee via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 9:07 am

      Jmo..

      Reply
    • Fredtasia Sowonderfullymade via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 9:20 am

      They must not realize their social life is over. I had my first child 3 months b4 my 18th bday. I still graduated on time but where ever I went I had my daughter with me, that was my choice my mom would have watched her but she was and still is my responsibility. These kids don’t realize it cost money to take care of these kids.

      Reply
    • ThaQueen Rider via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 9:33 am

      You all are a mess yourselves being on fb & probably SOME of you all may have been single parents as well. we live in an age of technology, not beepers. i for one am happy the very young ladys chose life. now if their parents or guardians can guide them to the right resourses, like education, wic ,job, day care and the local child support office that would be wonderful. At least the particular young ladies didnt choose to hide their pregnancies. That is my opinion smdh at you all

      Reply
    • Nakia J. Bolden via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 9:34 am

      The photo doesn’t say that its acceptable. It simple says that two friends are teenagers that are pregnant and they happen to be best friends. It was never cool or accepted to be a teen mother however it still happens because people continue to have unprotected sex. Its not the parents fault its the two children that decided to sleep together without protection fault. As a parent you can do everything to raise your child right and they still mess up. The thing is having sex and desiring sex is the most natural thing in the world. However when you dont understand that there is a true reaction for your action and its a lifetime of care you have all these teen mothers. If all you tell your child is not to have sex but you dont tell them why they shouldn’t or what the real life consequences are or better yet show them they are going to do it anyway they can. It has to be broken down and examples shown. I think back to my mom all she would say is dont be being fass or out there having sex. She never said why though. Realistically she needed to be saying emotionally you aren’t mature enough to make a decision to be attached to someone for the remainder of your or your child’s life. Nor are you financially capable of caring for a child. Do you want a child to stop you from doing what you should be doing at this age in your life? There’s a lot more I could say but the point is we as parents have to start being real with our children.

      Reply
    • Lovin Myhusband via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 9:45 am

      also nakia I dont know how old u r but even though parents might talk to their kids and break it down some kids honestly speakin if they have a boyfriend that they r “n love wit” n dude tell that gurl babe if we use a condom u dont love me young gurls r nieve n will go wit it they have so many things now days like bet have rappers promote safe sex etc. babies r not the worse things that can happen imma try n drill n my kids head abstenince but condoms because its so many damn diseases i know people who died from aids n kids act like that dont scare them i know people wit stds its crazy I have 10 more years to decide how im gonna drill these things n my kids heads. we need to teach our babies to love n respect there bodies n themseles to love themselves.

      Reply
    • John Cee via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 10:43 am

      life is not over for these young girls but life may be difficult.its nothing kool about it. and i pray that other young girls learn from these girls mistakes!

      Reply
    • Anisha MsRight Ward via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 11:16 am

      #FAILED

      Reply
    • Tiffany says:
      October 9, 2011 at 11:24 am

      You are all very judgmental people. I wish those girls the best and I would never say they are a disgrace to any race or themselves or their parents. We must, however, educate our young men and women on the options of safe sex and the results of their decisions in life. The comments on here are a prime example of why kids are probably doomed. It’s like you all are so embarrassed that you feel the kids should be equally embarrassed. There are grown people who shouldn’t be having kids and can’t afford to raise or provide for them. Are we posting pictures of them or dead-beat parents? No.

      Reply
    • Gwendolyn Gwendella Johnson via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm

      It is not acceptable. However you can talk to them til you are blue, raise them correctly and some of them will find a way to do what they choose to do. It’s not easy and some of them eventually learn the hard way. It doesn’t mean the end for them but it’s best to wait.

      Reply
    • Anita Anderson via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 12:38 pm

      I can’t judge, because I was a teen mom at the age of 16 as well. But, I’d dare not flaunt something like this because my mom would have commensed a second Claudine beat down on my behind. Now as far as blaming the parents, I don’t believe that every case is a failure in parenting. I had a mom that was very open in talking about relationships, sex, marriage, birth control all of it. I can honelsty say that in my case I failed her, because I knew that I could go to her before hand and I didn’t. I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the games these young men play to get you to do what they wanted. So, without knowing the rull details on this case I can’t judge the parenting skills.

      Reply
    • Tenniel Lightbourne via Facebook says:
      October 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

      It’s a damn shame. It’s true that everyone’s circumstance is different and some teens get pregnant not by choice but against their will. That being said the teens that think it’s cute to have a baby at 14 & 15 I feel sorry for them. They fear nothing and have no regard for consequences. I think that I’ll ask my mom, my grandmother and my aunts to write a book on good parenting. They had the fear of God, a good cut A$$(whooping) and embarassment placed in me at an early age. That’s what’s missing. (Personal note) I waited until I got married to have mt first kid and I was almost thirty. Young ladies must protect themslves and respect themselves. Yes it is their bodies and even they have choices but after the baby arrives life is no longer about them. Oh yeah and ummmmm they are still lucky that all they caught was morning sickness. HIV/AIDS kids it’s still around.

      Reply
    • Paul Peter via Facebook says:
      October 10, 2011 at 12:10 am

      I just think the world is coming to an end,few of these cases occurred in da past,i think with this changing world,we could be talking about kid pregnancy in the future

      Reply
    • Nakia J. Bolden via Facebook says:
      October 10, 2011 at 7:01 am

      @loving myhusband I am 36 and I have an 18 year old daughter. So yes Im speaking from experience. I was graduating and pregnant. Praise God my daughter listened to me.

      Reply
    • Lovin Myhusband via Facebook says:
      October 10, 2011 at 10:33 am

      o ok @ nakia I was jus sayin cuz back n day they didnt have things like they have now u no what I mean they promote absenince n wrap it up n all that now days. yea john life is not over for them its jus beginnin but unfortunate for them they have lost there child hood they have lost bein care free. I Have had a job since I was 16 n I think that kept me focused work n school I Had no time for nothin else…

      Reply
    • Lovin Myhusband via Facebook says:
      October 10, 2011 at 10:37 am

      I am a married wit 3 beautiful kids i always praise single moms cause I have help my husband n its still hard so if u doin it by urself u r the best I know young gurls that had a bby as a teenager n had more back to back I KNOW A GURL THATS 19 wit 4 kids I dont think she really felt the raf cuz her mom was buyin pampers n so fourth

      Reply
    • Ky says:
      October 10, 2011 at 11:04 am

      Sad and disgusting

      Reply
    • Beloved says:
      October 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

      I wonder, in this day and time, why young women are not more "careful" regards their reproductive health? Especially, when there is all types of birth control methods available(many of which are FREE)and with the various STDs and HIV to contract, why do our kids continue to engage in unprotected sex?

      I won’t comment on anyone parenting skills as I got pregnant two years into college even though my parents stressed their expectations and had instilled their values. While my pregnancy was not planned, I was not a teen and my child’s father did propose. I was planning a wedding when I found out my child’s father was also sleeping with my best friend. Feeling hurt, betrayed and mad, I ended the engagement. And since I was not able to forgive him or her, being already five months pregnant, I had the baby and became a single mom.

      Thank God I had a support system of family and friends. Plus, financial help and occassional involvement from my daughter’s father. But, taking care of a child by myself at 20 was harder than anything else I’ve done since and I would not advocate trying to raise a child alone to anyone.

      I cannot even imagine what being a single Mom would feel like at the age of 14 or 15.

      I was able to return to college, finish, find a position and start a career but it was still very hard. I did not want my daughter to go down the same path. So, I talked to her about sex and birth control early on (my Mom was appalled)and helped her get birth control when she came to me and stated that she was "ready" for it. While it may be a fluke, some other girls in my daughter’s circle were getting pregnant but my daughter did not get pregnant as a teen.

      While I do not advocate having sex until one is both physically and emotionally ready, Black parents need to stop pretending that our children will *not* have sex just because we want to think we have such control over them that if we tell them not to, they won’t. Teens are walking hormones and Parents cannot be with their children 24/7. Yes, you should try to instill certain values, but be aware that doing this is only successful if the child accepts and adheres to those same values.

      I say talk to your child about sex and birth control. A conversation should be preferrable to having your child make you a Grandparent/Parent at age 30? Becoming a Grandparent at age 30 is really, really, really not cute!

      Reply
    • QTpye says:
      October 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm

      Let me say that I agree with most of you on the fact that they think it is cute and that it really is a sad situation. However, I do not agree with most of you blaming the parents for their desire to have unprotected sex and getting pregnant. If we all stop and think regardless to what it may have been there were things that our parents talked to us about and we still did the opposite despite what they said, so to blame the parents for this is not the case. Not to mention that a lot of us like me were teenage mothers/fathers and our parents couldn’t stay home and watch kids like they did back in the day. They had to work and life went on. A lot of single parents are working 2 and 3 jobs just to make ends meet and to stay afloat. Been there and done it all! The age of girls having a child is getting younger and younger and most of us are not at the point in our lives where we can just retire sit at home and play grandparents to a baby. It’s HARD and these kids don’t realize it. They feel like just because we are older we don’t understand and what they fell to realize is that we didn’t get to where we are now without passing 14,15,16 and so on.

      I am the mother of teenage twin GIRLS. I have my own house, my own car, and I have been on my job for over a decade. I’m not on welfare and I don’t receive any government assistance what so ever. This is not to dog those who receive assistance, but to show you that you can still succeed in life and still have some struggles when you have kids at a young age. To some my life may seem like a milestone, but to me it has been a struggle providing a life for me and my girls and now that they are of age its even harder to instill in them the importance of putting self first and having respect for themselves despite what the “cool kids” say or think. Kids are cruel and peer pressure is worst and as a parent, god-parent, aunt, uncle, sister , brother or whatever we have to continue feeding the positive into our kids and letting them know that we love them and that they can do more in life than just be a “baby mama” or a “baby daddy”. This is not the life I envisioned for myself when I wrote out my career plan, but I am thankful everyday for my kids and the lessons that I have learned from. I continue to pray for my kids as well as others and pray that the teenage epidemic will soon decrease. These kids are our future and if we don’t take a stand what will happen with the next generations to come?

      Reply
    • “Leave Amber Cole Alone!” ~ One Teens Emotional Response… [VIDEO] says:
      October 18, 2011 at 2:54 pm

      [...] I said yesterday in my Amber Cole post, I bring up topics like her’s (and the two 15 year old pregnant teen girls who posted their photos on Facebook… yeah, you forgot about that one huh?) because I honestly [...]

      Reply
    • CAPTION THIS: A Picture is Worth 1000 Words… [Are These Your Daughters?] says:
      October 31, 2011 at 4:13 pm

      [...] warning shot that if we don’t take the wheel and steer our teens in another direction… THIS is what will be the [...]

      Reply
    • Cameron says:
      February 25, 2012 at 12:29 am

      I’m 15 and 4 monthes ago I found out that I got my ex gf pregnant. She’s 13 and we were in a relationship when all of this happened. we broke up soon after because she told her parents i raped her to avoid getting in trouble. but now that shes pregnant with my baby, i cant leave her alone. I dont have the same feelings as i had for her before but I love this baby thats not even born yet. No it wasnt panned but she’s keeping the baby and I’m doing everything i can to support the both of them. She dropped out of school because of what people would say but I still try to teach her what I know. Her parents gave up on her and she practically lives with me. now i have a new girlfriend who’s very supportive of what i’m doing for the both of them. A week ago we found out it was a boy and she just cried. I guess the reality didnt really sink in till then, she’s going to be dealing with this for 18 years of her life. she’ll be 35 before she wont have to take care of anyone but herself. when she just could have lived her life now. im not blaming it on her, its my fault too. but she lied that she was on the pill and my condom broke….but if i could go back and change anything, i wouldn’t….we decided on a name last night
      Nicholas Amadeus Auburn

      Reply
    • Leroy says:
      March 16, 2012 at 4:21 pm

      it starts when the child is very young….not when they are teens. you train up a child…..too many parents are still trying ‘to live their lives’ and ‘be their kids friends’. then thry get upset when things go south during the child’s teen years. this is very sad but where are the parents?

      Reply
    • Some1 says:
      July 15, 2012 at 10:34 am

      Anyone who thinks teen pregnancy is just an urban or ghetto thing is limited in their understanding of abortion over the years. There are tons of non-urban, non-ghetto girls becoming pregnant. Let’s just say, if the GOP has it their way and out law abortion, you will see girls of ALL hues teenage moms. They are having sex. Both girls and boys have to stop their ways…stop thinking sex is just something to do…there is meaning to sex…this has been forgotten for teens of all hues and backgrounds.

      Reply

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