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[Editor’s Note: After the positive response former NFL baller Bob Whitfield received on his 7 Reasons Why Women Cheat, I’ve decided to give him the SFTA platform yet again. This time Bob takes aim at Cupid and the fairy tale feelings of LOVE vs. LIKE. Again, I have to state I have absolutely NOTHING to do with this commentary, and while he has me feelin ‘some kinda way’ right now, these are clearly all BOB’S views and opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of me… ATLien! ]
LOVE is… ‘a non-muthaf*ckin factor boo’ in your relationship! (I can hear the boo’s raining in now!)
For couples, love is like the flour mixed with the grease that makes the gravy.
LOVE has a magical all-purpose element to make a relationship recipe that is much more robust, exciting, romantic, etc and so on…. but who just wants gravy, or the special love sauce?
Relationships, for LOVE’s sake, lead to Marriage. Which is simply a social economic relationship between two people that provides tax and legal advantages for their union. [In layman’s speak: you get a tax write off and someone that can’t be forced to snitch on you in court]
I’m not against marriage, relationships or being in LOVE for that matter. I enjoy having those tax write offs; but I don’t like that Tyler Perry ending with some negro spiritual playing in the background and some Maya Angelou slow talking verbage “I LOVE you, more than life itself?”
LOVE can be at first sight or after months of wining and dining, picnics, concerts, a ton of text message and tweets.
So when Keisha (Lisa Raye) exalted while living the life on “Single Ladies” this past week, “I LOVE you!” to Malcolm (damn its only the 4th episode), that love won’t make it to season 2.
I say let LOVE be default. Let LOVE be all that you can naturally bestow on another person.
LOVE is so basic. You get a puppy…you LOVE it. Get a car… you LOVE it. So meet a girl… you LOVE her. 
Given that you will sex her as if you LOVE her, bring her home to meet momma as if, make babies as if, and build a family all around that basic emotion, LOVE is like breathing, it just happens till it stops.
But in a relationship you need more than LOVE to breathe on. You need RENT, FOOD, etc.. which means you need MONEY.
Say this to your mate: ‘I confide in you’, ‘I depend on you’, ‘I believe in you’, that to me is more compelling than ‘I LOVE you’.
There is a stronger feeling than LOVE that creates a deeper bond in a marriage or any relationship. It’s called LIKE… and “LIKE” is so exact, it does not get a mention in your wedding vows. Cause no matter how much you “promise to love, honor, and respect” your mate, today you just don’t LIKE that MotherF’er!
C
ouples brake up and say ‘I still LOVE’ or ‘still have LOVE’ for their mate. But it is the dis-“LIKE” that is keeping them apart.
So when you don’t LIKE somebody, you can’t stand to be in the same room with them… throwing shit at them and everything.
What Toni say? ‘LOVE should of brought you home last night’; and LOVE would of had you sleeping on opposite sides of the bed with a continental divide as vast as the grand canyon.
LOVE got you wake’n up the next morning to your own living nightmare, where discontent is reality and happiness appears as a dream.
That same old LOVE got you in the basement watching baseball highlights, scary movies, and fat girl porn just to fall asleep on the couch away from that woman you LOVE so much.
LIKE, on the other hand is a cold piece of work, cause it has a duality like an angel on the left and the devil on the right both tapping on your shoulder.
LIKE is the whole cookbook for making that special special gravy taste so good. Cause guess what happens when that same women LOVES you but don’t LIKE you… you eating “Man-wich” cause she done gone “spam” on your ass!
Remember reason #2? Now she’s coming to bed in a robe, boy shorts and a sports bra, with her hair in rollers… wearing a sulfur mask, talkin’ bout ‘I LOVE you, good night!’.
Just stop it ok…
Stop saying “I LOVE you” and “do you LOVE me” and start using the other L word, cause no matter how many times you may hear ‘I LOVE you’, its a non-muthafucking factor when you are not well LIKED in your relationship.
These words of life and actuality are from Bob Whitfield’s doctrine for Male Existence ~ the ‘L.M.O.T.T.P.’
What do you think about Bob’s assessment of LOVE?
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Fu*k out Here ! I don’t understand that sh*t!!
lmao
I agree with a large portion of what he stated
He saying you can love someone but not like them and its liking them that’s more important. When you love someone but don’t like them you do what you have to do. When you like and love them you do whatever from the heart, the task has more meaning and you are more willing to put your heart into it.
Hope this helps.
I wanna comment about the folk who were ‘putting you on blast’ for your sudden inclusion of Big Bob! Whatup with that anyway?
Not that I’m trying to be in yo business!
I concur. Well written & introspective. I’m married 25 yrs, together 27 yrs. And yes I still like him for the most part.
I “like”!!!!!!!
@Leonard ~ Bob is Stanford educated and i can’t help but LIKE his brain…
Like I said, I ain’t gon’ get y’alls biz!
Sheree f+++ed him up GOOD
Well said! I have people in my life that I love, but don’t like & choose to not be around them.
I thoroughly enjoyed this- regular feature perhaps???
You know, everyone use to belong to someone at some point in time. As long as it wasn’t to your immediate family and friends what the issues. Get out her business and let her do her.
My motto "If you dont like how I do mines, then dont do me"
LMAO
Perhaps…
Say this to your mate: ‘I confide in you’, ‘I depend on you’, ‘I believe in you’, that to me is more compelling than ‘I LOVE you’…says Bob Whitfield.
i agree with that statement. he is only giving his opinion so i can respect that. love means so many things. but what triggered the detailed paragraph?
Well said! I likes!
I understand what he is saying…but it still comes off as just a bit bitter to me.
You will NOT, in a lifetime of being with someone, like them everyday. Hell, you will very likely not like them for large chunks of time…years possibly. People aren’t perfect. You don’t even like your family members or kids all the time. But LOVE is the anchor that keeps them in your life. So, I feel there may be periods of doing what you have to out of love, while the "like" isn’t there…but that’s what keeps you there for them and them there for you when your imperfections overwhelm. It may not be EVERYTHING, but love is definitely a factor.
He is a man scorned plain and simple. What did he expect? Dude is big, ugly, stingy and got a cock eye that aims right at every woman’s ass. Even his ex Sheree claims he’s a bit of a dead beat dad. Why this man elects to tell other people about his blurred vision on relationships is beyond me. I swear it’s like people can’t think for themselves. First Steve Harvey, the Tyrese Gibson and now this fool. Didn’t you guys learn anything from that derranged tramp Karrin Steffans? Nobody can give love advice if they haven’t truly known and succeeded at love themselves.
Bob clearly is confused and jaded by the entertainment/sports world…cause where im from….if I dont like you I certainly dont love you. He’s use to seeing entertainers and athletes fall in love with packages or presentation before getting to know the person…but when the only thing of value that you have to offer is love you. I think it means a little more. Now I can agree with his theory when it comes to family, because we cant choose family, but I cant seem to understand how a mature adult can fall in love with and marry someone they dont like unless the love was a “non moth*#$&$%!ing factor” to begin with “boo”.
Bob is Standford educated and I can’t help but like his brain. Yep, I bet you like his brain alright. LMBO!
I understand what he saying love aint nothing but a four letter word.People need to stop talking about this dude and figure out the real meaning behind it.
Bob(Lazy Eye) Whitfield will say anything to get attention, in Sherre’s Voice "Nobody’s Checking For You Boo, So Shut The Fudge Up!!
A pastor said this to me. He told to make sure I LIKED the person I marry.
Ooooo, ATLien! You got this man pondering love, like, cheatin and keepin! Apparently you ain’t the only one feeling ‘some kinda way’. I ain’t mad. I really, really ain’t.
I agree with Bob . You do have to like the person. Liking someone is very important in a relationship. Like Tina said what’s love gotta do with it.
This guy is right on…
I feel that is the problem for most of us. We get involve with someone who really isn’t our friend. Y’all know, somebody who we laugh with, cry with, shit, somebody that we just can’t be without. Usually, that situation is one sided. One person may feel that way about the other but the other really after the novelty of sex is gone, it’s a wrap.
People don’t like hearing the truth. A lot of the reasons for cheating is cause that other person is looking for someone they can like. They may love their wife, husband or other but not really like them.
Dana T.
Seems like some of the haters on here don’t like the messenger & can’t accept the commentary. The things he speaks on are happening in most relationships. Most people won’t accept or admit it.
Now maybe he can write a blog on taking care of his kids… SMDH! Why is he hiding that eye in the picture?
Okay.
I get it. There are times when the person you "love" turns into that person you don’t like. If we all worked harder to get along with our significant others instead of dictating what they can and can’t do, we would get a lot farther in relationships.
I LIKE and LOVE my man so we are doubly blessed. Maybe more people will listen to the message and take heed to the words.
I love this! Where Bob Whitfield been hiding? Wonky eye or not he told it like it T.I. Tis!
@Jeannia At this point no one is checking for Sheree! At least he has an education and (had) a successful career. What does she have besides his name and his kids?
I get what he is saying, a lot of people take Love as just any random word. people get caught in the moment like getting gifts and taking trips, good sex and the "I love you" comes out. Start living with that person only to find you can not stand the ground they walk on. When I here celebs say I love you or when people say to "Beyonce, Usher etc" I Love you, it cracks me up becasue how can you love someone you don’t even know? You can say I like their music or I like what they stand for, but saying I love is taking it to another level or should be on another level.
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Guy said it first! I like!
No his girlfriend nicci gilbird (in my funky dineva voice) is ah non mf factor…..
I can believe it but I agree 100%
oh…NOOOOW he a non m’n-f’n factor. hmmm…. #thebreakup