So far, Fantasia Barrino has remained silent about her recent hospitalization following her attempted suicide, but the American Idol star has finally spoken up and admitted she intended to end her life two weeks ago when she overdosed on aspirin and sleeping aids.
I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out. At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that.
Fantasia was found on the floor in her room by manager Brian Dickens just moments after she found out her married boyfriend’s wife had named her in legal documents.
… and she says that her suicide attempt wasn’t an “accident” and she knew exactly what she wanted to do!
‘I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace.’
And the 26-year old says there was absolutely no doubt that she wanted to die.
‘I knew exactly what I was doing,’ she says. ‘You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.’
‘I remember waking up in the hospital and thinking, ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.”‘
Fantasia’s manager said that he could tell that there was something wrong with her earlier in the day, which is what prompted him to go check on her.
‘Her emotions were extremely low,’ he states. ‘She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying “I love you.” I wrote back, “I love you more.” Then it hit me.’
‘I wrote, “You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.” And I left it at that.
About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, “Already did.” I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.’
Fantasia explains on an upcoming episode of VH1’s behind the music:
‘I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired. My head was hurting me. I was over it.’
The singer sticks with her story that Antwuan was NOT with his wife when they were together, stating:
‘When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told.
Although it was her manager who found her and forced her to go to a hospital, Tasia credits her nurse with saving her life.
‘My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear.
‘She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, “You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ’cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny.”‘
‘I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.’
Fantasia was spotted out recently, where she sung “Happy Birthday for Charlotte Bobcats forward Tyrus Thomas, she also belted out a few oldies before performing a live rendition of her new song “Bittersweet”…. just in time for her record release date.
Fantasia’s interview with VH1’s Behind the Music is airing at 9 p.m.tomorrow (Tuesday), the same day her new album, Back to Me, is released. Coincidence? I think not!!
Video via: Sound-Savvy